So in my dream last night, this dude I half-knew from grade school for some reason was staying with me for a couple of days. Let’s call him Michael H. I wasn’t super friends with him back then, but it was basically the consensus around Birch Elementary that he was one of the [...]
Entries from October 2007
October 24, 2007
what’s your favorite subway euphemism?
Now don’t get me wrong. The NYC subway system is a pretty miraculous thing. But like any public, crowded, aging great-work, it can be irksome, particularly when it stops mid-tunnel and the engineer comes on the loudspeaker to give us (if you can hear him/her) just enough information so as to slow our [...]
October 18, 2007
subway-turnstile-fraud
Gee, Golly. What a week. First locksmith-blackmail now this. Ok. So I’m entering the C-train at Lafayette this morning, sort of in a hurry since it’s around 9:02 AM and the train has been wont to arrive between 9:04 and 9:08 most days (who’s counting?), and there’s this crowd of three [...]
October 15, 2007
locksmith-blackmail
So at my new apartment, we get a lot of solicitor-type materials strewn across our front-gate, stuffed into our mail-slot, slunk over our doorknob, you know, friendly neighborhood circulars, colorful menus advertising the latest fusion place that just opened down the street, and the like, yet, this morning, one such solicitor just might have stepped [...]
October 11, 2007
just warbling (i never)
Ok. I never touched her Fallopian tubes. That’s right. And I never sang to her hamster. Oh wow, and I definitely did not steal her stamps! Why would I? I can mail things for free at my job. Doesn’t make sense. No. I most [...]
October 9, 2007
wicker
I know this guy who really really hates wicker. You might say, he’s just not one for wicker. It simply doesn’t agree with him. The texture. The stench of it. All the holes. Wicker literally makes this guy sick, I’m not even joking with you (I [...]
October 6, 2007
just warbling… (heck yeah)
Um. Lard is pretty funny. But butter, ehhh, you know, it could be funnier. And. Acorns. Yeah. They’re not the funniest either, to be perfectly honest. But pine cones. Yeoow! For some reason, they’re pretty darn, they’re just, they’ll make you chuckle no doubt about [...]
