sleep is weird

Yeah, so what? It’s a cliche, “sleep is weird,” but who cares, it’s true and you know it!
Sleep is so trusted, so hard-wired, and rarely questioned. So consider this buck stopping, at least momentarily, to at least introduce the possibility that sleeping is crazy: the act of getting in a bed, closing your [...]

if i was a superhero

Oh, you know, if I was a superhero, I’d be The Hypochondriac, sporting a flashy-teal hospital gown and a bright white wristband that has all my information on it, all the while effortlessly rolling around that intravenous drip cart everywhere I go. My power would be, get this, just by hearing or reading about [...]

oh yeah, I only really watch one tv show

I just realized that i always say this. I’m always like, “but yeah I hardly watch tv at all (snicker snicker), I really only watch one show, blah blah blah, ” and I’m usually talking about Lost, but it’s all a delusion! I just finished watching the final American Idol episode, well the [...]

what’s your favorite subway euphemism?

Now don’t get me wrong. The NYC subway system is a pretty miraculous thing. But like any public, crowded, aging great-work, it can be irksome, particularly when it stops mid-tunnel and the engineer comes on the loudspeaker to give us (if you can hear him/her) just enough information so as to slow our [...]

just warbling… (heck yeah)

Um. Lard is pretty funny. But butter, ehhh, you know, it could be funnier. And. Acorns. Yeah. They’re not the funniest either, to be perfectly honest. But pine cones. Yeoow! For some reason, they’re pretty darn, they’re just, they’ll make you chuckle no doubt about [...]

handicapped-bathroom guilt

As far as I can tell, there isn’t anyone disabled that works on my office floor, yet I understand, of course, at any minute, one could pop up out of thin air. You know, POOF, “Oh, hi nice to meet you,” I would offer politely, maintaining eye contact obviously, making sure not to [...]

stuck behind the defeated’s

So we’ve already established that I’m a two-stepper, which makes it even worse when I’m stuck behind “a defeated,” or one who walks super slowly up the stairs because he/she has given up on life (for one reason or another), but nonetheless blocks the way for the rest of us. I feel like I [...]

Constantly Amazed Dpt.

This may be “old hat” but I’m still constantly amazed at the lengths that certain men go in public to let women (they think are attractive) know that they in fact think they’re attractive.
For example, I was getting in at the Lorimer stop subway crossing the street next to a nice-looking-gal in a green sun-dress, [...]

non sequitur (open thread)

Only poor people use pay phones these days huh?
(add you own non sequitur if you’d like – whatever pops in there)
woo!

the second-elevator-press

Am I the only one that gets sort of insulted when you’re waiting for the elevator (having already pressed the down-button) and then someone else comes by, and even though it’s clear the button’s been pressed (it has a red tint) they still press it again! They tap it quickly as if they’re saying, [...]