In all seriousness I may have this thing. I was watching tv and this commercial came on where this zen-like woman was like, “Are you constantly at war with your legs?” And sort of unconsciously I blurt out “Yes, yes!” And my friend next to me was startled. “Are you ok man?” he asks. “Quiet,” I say. “Turn it up.”

So RLS is “Restless Leg Syndrome” basically your legs keep moving, usually in the night, they can’t get comfortable, they keep kicking things,etc. I wake up most mornings completely blanket-less cause I’ve kicked everything off the bed during the night. And my legs are all tired and confused. I try to get through to them but they won’t listen; they’re on fire. “Calm down,” I implore, massaging them up and down. “Just be legs.”

My worst RLS story I think I’ll save for later, but it’s weird, after seeing that commercial for Troxil or whatever, with that zen-like woman repeating, “You’re not alone, over 10% of the population suffer…” and so forth, I’ve just, and others have noticed this, I’ve just been more hopeful and confident in my step. “Consult your doctor to see if Troxil (or whatever) is right for you.” Darn right I will. And you should too.



Filed under tall-tale-ish musings

3 responses to “RLS

  1. I have this too! Seriously.

  2. Emily

    You guys are just antsy. Stop letting drug manufacturers make you think there’s something wrong with you.

  3. oatmeal

    If the drugs for RLS don’t work, I hear Phizer is coming out with ‘Anti-Antsy’ medication. You should try that. Antsy is a really understated problem in our society, don’t you think?

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