It’s become sort of a mantra for me, a motto, why-button-fly; it has a nice ring to it I suppose, and it just popped in my mind one day as I was at some urinal. I had to pee pretty badly (it’s been said I have a small bladder) but when I went down there to do my business, there’s this roadblock, you know: why-button-fly?

46911pvxu_w.jpgI don’t know why I bought these pants in the first place, there was something about them, I just had to have them, who knows. But if I knew then what I know now, darnit, these pants would have had to be made of solid gold, I’m not kidding: why-button-fly?

Yeah I wear a belt (it’s been said I have the waste of a husky six-year-old) which means that button-flies are useless when you’re at a urinal, you have to unbuckle, things can get messy, especially if someone’s next to you, they think you’re gonna pull down your pants or something, they give you this disapproving look, and my valves are gun-shy as it is.

True if you’re not wearing a belt the buttons pull apart real easy, but for me that’s not nearly worth the trouble it takes to button them back up again, especially that one closest to the bottom, there’s no leverage in that little crevice, seriously: why-button-fly?

And you just can’t say, “Oh they look nice,” cause you can’t see them, there’s a flap over the fly, a fly-flap for crying out loud: why button fly? Please. I’d love to know. Until then, these darn pants are being benched.



Filed under anecdotes, bathroom stuff, throwing it out there

4 responses to “why-button-fly?

  1. because sometimes those evil teeth in a zipper will catch you at the base of your junk and it hurts like hell. That won’t happen with a button fly.

  2. Just another reason that we should all switch to disposable clothes if you ask me…

  3. Labaki

    I was gonna say – “hey, don’t bench them – just give ’em to me! (If they’re 38 x 34, though…)”, but I’ve just found out that this post is 3-years old. 😛
    Anyway, did you change your mind in the last 3 years about button-flies?

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