the shoe-lace incident

My friend went on this date last night and she came back from it alone (which tells you something) but in recalling the events of the evening, she divided the date into 2 parts: before she realized he was wearing two different color shoelaces and after she realized he was wearing two different color shoelaces.

Before the incident, things were going pretty well, they were at some cute coffee/pastry place, she thought his pattern-baldness was endearing, he even touched her hand out of nowhere, and according to her, “It didn’t feel weird, it felt safe.” (these are her words!)

But then she drops her spoon and while grabbing it looks under the table at his shoes: and yeah, the world changed, of course. “One green. One red,” she whispers back and forth in disbelief. “One green. One red. Like Christmas colors? Holy Christ.” Ok, she’s been under the table too long, she has to pull things together.

brown07.jpgShe picks her head up and peers across to him: but he doesn’t look the same. “Gosh, was he really that bald a minute ago?” kellygreen02.jpgHe smiles at her (whoa is that a crown?), “Everything ok?” he cups his hand over hers again, but this time it doesn’t feel safe, it feels clammy and dangerous. She fakes an itch on the back of her neck just to get out from under his thick paws. (Oh man he really needs to cut his fingernails). One green. One red. “Who was this guy?” her mind was racing, “Was he a clown?” “What other conventions does he break cause he thinks he’s super-eclectic?” And it just went more and more downhill after that.

But I assured her (while cupping her hand in mine) that it was better that she found out about his shoelace-habit early on, God forbid she’s married to this guy and he breaks out those shoes: one green, one red. Talk about a dealbreaker, right? Argh!


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Filed under crazy world, fictiony, restaurant

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