walking behind someone

I feel like this happens to me a lot: it’s sort of late and I’m walking behind some girl on a pretty deserted street, and since I’m sort of a fast walker, I start inching closer and closer to her, and she doesn’t look back right away, but I can tell that thing clicks inside her head, you know, the “oh someone might be following me” click-thing, that happens to the best of us, but of course I’m completely innocuous whatever, yet I don’t really know how to communicate this to her: oh don’t worry, that I’m not harmful, not a purse-thief, blah blah blah. And this goes on for however long it takes me to overtake her stride, and then when I finally pass her on the sidewalk, I always get that look like she’s telling herself, “I was all worried over that? Some 5 foot 6 inch (on a good day) white-boy wearing a vest?” As if I disappointed her or something. One time I actually coughed when I was behind someone, cause I guess I figured this would communicate something, that I’m not a mugger, (cause muggers don’t cough do they? ). But it just got her more scared, she broke into a run, no I’m kidding but this business is hard, don’t you think? Anyway, have a good night all.

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2 Comments

Filed under etiquette, throwing it out there

2 responses to “walking behind someone

  1. oatmeal

    Maybe you should try to mug someone. The element of surprise of your height, race and vest might earn you a new cell phone and ipod.

  2. Patrick

    Easy fix: just do the quick “beep, beep.” Deus ex machina

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