that-guilty-feeling

Sort of along the lines of this post, whenever I pass a policeperson on the subway platform, or on the street, whathaveyou, I always get that-guilty-feeling, you know, like they’re gonna see right through me for who I really am: some kind of malicious, scheming character that’s trying to get away with something, even though, honestly, if there’s one person in the world who’s life is an open-book, I mean, I’d probably be his/her alternate, you know, so I think that makes me pretty darn open, doesn’t it?cop.jpe

But, yeah, for some reason, I get really self-conscious when passing authority-figures (the same thing happened in High school around the Assistant Principle or whatever), I get all locked-up, nervous, and then feel this need to over-compensate my walking-style or my ‘being-style’ in general so that I appear even that much more relaxed and nonchalant, does this happen to you too? Like I put my hands in my pockets, nod my head up and down like I know what the story is, and sometimes I even yawn when passing a cop, like I’m just so relaxed and innocent that I’m practically falling asleep, but um, well, yeah, obviously this over-compensation makes me look even more guilty. What’s that line fron “Usual Suspects,” the best way to catch a murderer is put a bunch of people in lock-up overnight and the one who’s asleep by the end of the night is your guy, “he knows he’s caught, he can let his guard down.” Maybe policepeople are expecting a certain degree of nervousness and anything different (incessant yawning for example) sets off alarm bells? Something to think about for sure. Enjoy your Sundays.

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2 Comments

Filed under security, throwing it out there

2 responses to “that-guilty-feeling

  1. mike

    Police officer, Security their all the same. They’re just people. When I was in college I met a girl and I swear she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I couldn’t talk to her, no matter how hard I tried. Whenever she was near me I got nervous and my words would become jumbled. It drove me nuts!
    My best friend saw what I was going through and he offered a suggestion. He told me to visualize her conducting the most basic of bodily functions.
    I thought he was crazy, however just to get to talk to her without making a fool of myself I’d try anything.
    The next time I saw her at a distance I did exactly as my friend instructed and It worked! All this time I’d been placig her on a pedestal as if she was a goddess an my friend in his own crude way reduced her to human form in a matter of seconds.
    I guess the moral to this story is that all people in positions of authority are simply human, no more no less. They put their pants on just like you do, one leg at a time.
    I hope that helps in your quest to overcome your phoebia. I not, I suggest you locate the followng books and read them. It’l help you get a far greater understanding of both. “Observe & Report” Behind the Scenes with Security, In their own Words. Also the book Cops, by Mark Baker. Both allow you to view behind the badges and show officers in a differen light. The human light.
    Good Luck.

  2. Patrick

    I have found several things as I’ve gotten older. When I stuck on a mental block, I blink really fast and it pushed my brain to process through the problem quicker. The being nervous part? I can;t say I’ve figured that out yet.

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