locksmith-blackmail

So at my new apartment, we get a lot of solicitor-type materials strewn across our front-gate, stuffed into our mail-slot, slunk over our doorknob, you know, friendly neighborhood circulars, colorful menus advertising the latest fusion place that just opened down the street, and the like, yet, this morning, one such solicitor just might have stepped over the line.lock.jpg

Ok. A locksmith (Morty’s Lock Services or something) scotch-taped his card directly onto our door – so what, not a huge deal, in itself – yet he taped it onto our inside door! In other words, he somehow got past our first, locked door, which admittedly is aging rapidly, and by taping his card onto our front door (the only thing separating us from the brutal, down-on-its-luck world), this locksmith is basically telling us, “Look, the lock on your front door doesn’t work that well, why don’t you pay me to install a better one, and no one’ll get hurt.”

Yep, I think I’ve been a victim of locksmith-blackmail. Morty’s proven what he can do, and next time, maybe he won’t stop at the outer door! Heck, if I don’t give him business, perhaps he’ll put me on some knock-list (God forbid!), inviting who knows what kind of riff-raff to try their luck with our obviously faulty front-door-lock. Then again, perhaps Morty has simply done us a favor? Maybe he goes around the neighborhood pro-bono style, hunting for break-in-susceptible rusty doors a la the movie Sneakers (circa 1992)? Maybe we should be glad Morty found us before Slippery Jim, Not-Right Larry, or other theft-mongers, who probably don’t even have business cards, let alone scotch tape, and they certainly don’t eat at eclectic fusion places! In any case, watch out for a locksmith who answers to Morty, he’s about “yeah-high” I imagine, and remember, it’s a crazy world, for serious…

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1 Comment

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One response to “locksmith-blackmail

  1. Do you think we should tell Barry?

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