what’s your favorite subway euphemism?

Now don’t get me wrong. The NYC subway system is a pretty miraculous thing. But like any public, subway_web.jpgcrowded, aging great-work, it can be irksome, particularly when it stops mid-tunnel and the engineer comes on the loudspeaker to give us (if you can hear him/her) just enough information so as to slow our collective descents into primitive man (yeah, that’s right, if we’re desperate enough, umbrellas can also be used as clubs).

But what’s your favorite subway euphemism?

Mine is “earlier incident.” You know when the train stops and the engineer apologetically explains, “Due to an earlier incident, trains are running at reduced speeds,” etc. Anything could be an earlier incident, provided it happened and it happened before right now. Yargh, really keeps you guessing, but maybe that’s the point.

What’s yours?



Filed under crazy world, subway, throwing it out there

5 responses to “what’s your favorite subway euphemism?

  1. ‘we are momentarily stopped because of…train traffic ahead of us’

    also why are there so many people who get sick during morning rush hour?

  2. I also really like “we are being held momentarily by the train’s dispatcher” I will pay $500 leading to information regarding the whereabouts of this mysterious ‘dispatcher;’ where does he/she live, work, play, hide? He/She is the modern day wizard of oz.

  3. “We are momentarily stopped because of two ‘individuals without residence’ who are ‘doing it’ on the tracks.”

  4. It’s true subway tracks are a veritable breeding ground for hobos.

  5. Also thinking they should start a “don’t clump” campaign- that utilizes those great reenactment stills- showing all these people clumped in front of the door instead of moving into the car – it could work wonders!

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