Yeah, see, it’s not enough, right, all of it, I swear. It’s not enough to be all straggly-hot. Ok, yeah I admit it, he’s completely and utterly straggly-hot. He is. He’s like a biscuit, he melts in your mouth, I admit it, the whole deal. He gives people strokes he’s so hot. He makes you start bleeding internally (true story), cause whenever you’re near him, everything inside you (your blood, even your freaking plasma) just wants to jump out your skin and touch his face, cause it looks so smooth, yet it’s incredibly straggly at the same time, don’t ask me how he does it (apricots?). Don’t ask me, I said. Please I need to finish this.
Right. Here I am telling you, it’s not enough, ok. Yes he stops traffic just by walking his little walk, sort of like a bird with little babies walking behind him, only his chick-babies are his cheek-bones and his freaking incredible knees (you’ve never seen knees like these, I swear), but what the hell, it’s not freaking enough. This is me, ok, and I’m telling you, it’s not enough.
Ok. Yeah. I knew a guy once. A rich guy. Had a billion-trillion pounds, in a duffle bag in his closet. Yeah I know that’s a lot of money, no kidding. You’re thinking to yourself, “This guy’s got it made.” Wrong. next day, guess what, he dropped dead. Don’t believe me? Well it’s true. Cause of death: Strep throat. Went undiagnosed, freak thing, tragic. But point is, details, yeah? They’re not enough. They’re not. No matter how beautiful your knees are. You think Strep throat cares about your knees? Don’t think so. Good, ok. Glad that’s settled.
And also: stay in school.